“[W]hen our children do begin dating, we must not pressure in any way. Getting married is the most personal decision our children will ever make. Only they can decide with whom they should go out, or how long they should date. Unfathomable pain has been caused by parents and others who pressure children to get married… If we force our children into such a marriage, we can imagine what their home will look like.

“If a couple dates for a period, and one of them feels that there is no common language, or no chemistry, under no circumstances should we advise the couple to get engaged. Our child is unsure? Let him or her think! Only the child can decide. Our child should think for as long as he or she wants. If the child ultimately feels unsure, he or she shouldn’t marry. It is forbidden for anyone to pressure a child into marriage.”

-Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe, PLANTING AND BUILDING, p. 73


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